I can't make stuff up this good...

Scenario:

Major website in the IT industry, very well known. Perf issue, most likely related to inefficient queries and/or indexes and stats. Site timeouts all over the place.

Sent customer a list of long running queries and got this:


{Customer} says they are in the process of getting rid of the site. He said use gum and bailing wire for the time being. Thanks for you hard work.

Sadly, I am out of gum and bailing wire. Will spit and duct tape do?

Simply amazing.

Kevin3NF